Determined to be Delusional
by Chocolatedog
Summary: An alternant beginning for Toy Story one. What would've happened if Buzz had fixed his spaceship? Oneshot. Reviews appreciated greatly!


_This is supposed to take place near the start of Toy Story. I assume that after this story ends the action takes the course almost identical to what happens in the movie._

* * *

**Determined to be Delusional**

"I have an announcement to make!" Buzz spoke into the microphone. The microphone that Woody used for the staff meetings. The microphone that _only_ Woody used for the staff meetings. "Can everyone hear me?" Buzz continued. "Good," he said, without waiting for an answer. "I have great news. After weeks of repair, my rocket ship is finally ready for flight once again. The job is done!" There was general cheering. "Thank you. And—"

"What do you mean, 'ready for flight once again'?" Woody called. "It could never fly in the first place! _It's cardboard_. "

"Quiet!" hissed the crowd.

Buzz cleared his throat. "I would like to thank everyone who helped me rebuild the ship. You have all played a part in saving the universe."

"Saving the _universe_?" Woody said, disgusted.

But Buzz rambled on. "I thank you for working diligently on this extensive, complicated project."

"The only thing that was wrong with the _box_ was a torn wing!" Woody exclaimed. He marched to the so-called "ship" and ripped off the piece of tape securing the wing into place. "Oh no! I just undid weeks of extensive, complicated work." He stuck the tape back on. "Wow! I just redid weeks of extensive, complicated work."

"Hey, easy, now," said Slinky calmly. "Buzz can get excited about fix'n his ship if he wants to."

"Yes, Woody! There's no need to be rude," said Bo Peep.

Great. Now even Woody's best friends were openly taking Buzz's side. "But how could it take weeks to do that? Come on!" Woody objected.

"It's not just a wing," Buzz said. "There were complicated problems with the engine."

"_What_ engine?" Woody said. "It's an empty box. As empty as your head!"

"It's a registered fine quality space craft," Buzz loftily retorted. "Furthermore," he said, now addressed the crowd of toys below, "I now can continue my intergalactic travels. Thank you for your hospitality during my stay at your planet. Farewell." He walked away.

"'Farewell'? What do mean?" Slinky said.

He was interrupted by the sound of the car entering the driveway. All the toys hustled to their places. Except Buzz. He was setting up his "ship" by the window. Woody was about to tell him to get in place when he heard Andy talking with his mother. It seemed that they were going to go to Pizza Planet. When Andy asked if he could bring a toy with him, his mother said that he could bring one toy. Just one toy. It didn't take a super genius to figure out which toy would get to go. Woody glared at Buzz. Buzz glanced around, and upon seeing that the only toy that wasn't on its shelf or spot was Woody, called Woody's name. Woody stomped onto the desk Buzz was on.

"What it is?" he snapped.

Evidently oblivious to Woody's angry voice, Buzz said, "I was unable to completely repair the rocket on my space ship. Would you be so kind as to give the ship a shove to get it started once I enter it?"

"Wha- You want me to shove your ship out the _window_? It'll fall straight to the ground! It can't fly!"

"It _can_ fly! I spent weeks repairing it, I'm sure it'll fly!"

"But—" Woody stopped himself. His rival, his enemy, was _begging_ him to push him out the window. And yet Woody was stopping him. If he pushed the "ship" out the window, Andy would pick Woody to go with him to Pizza Planet. Yet the big Buzz Lightyear box would ensure that Andy would find Buzz soon. Buzz would be heavy enough to prevent the box from blowing away. He would push Buzz, Andy would pick Woody, and Andy would see the "ship" while looking out the window later, so he could easily find Buzz before the move. And once Andy found Buzz, Buzz would finally face the facts—his "space ship" couldn't fly, so he was obviously not a real space ranger. "If you insist," Woody said. Buzz got into the box and Woody shoved it out the window. "Have a nice flight!" Woody called. The "ship" fell straight down, landing on the bushes below. Andy would find the box soon enough—_after _he chose Woody to go to Pizza Planet.

"Woody!" Rex gasped. Uh-oh. "You—you _murdered_ him!"

"No, no, no! Andy will find him!"

"_But you shoved Buzz out the window_!" Rex wailed. This caught the other toy's attention.

"Murder!"

"Killer!"

"Arson!" Rex added.

"…I don't think that arson means that," Hamm said.

"Woody! How could you?" Slinky gasped.

"Wait!" Woody said. "He was asking for it!"

"Oh, right, so being played with a lot means that you're 'asking' to be murdered," Mr. Potato Head scoffed.

"No, he was _literally asking_ for—" Just then, Andy opened the door. The toys froze. Andy looked around his room, then called,

"Mom? Where's Buzz?"

"I don't know, honey. Just choose another toy, we have to go!" she shouted.

"Fine," Andy groaned, snatching Woody. Hey, being reluctantly picked was better than staying home.

* * *

As they pulled into a gas station, Woody began having doubts. If Andy took too long in finding Buzz, Woody would be in hot water. He hoped that he found Buzz as soon as the car returned to the driveway. But what if he didn't? Would anyone ever speak to him again? But suddenly, his problems seemed to be solved. Buzz dropped into the car from the top window.

"Buzz!" Woody exclaimed, elated. "You're back, buddy!"

But Buzz scowled. "You tried to assassinate me."

"Huh? Remember, you _told_ me to push you out of the window. You're ship's just a box. You're not a space man. This proves it!"

"No! You _sabotaged _my ship. You tore the wing of the ship, and then _pretended_ to fix it."

"_What_? But—but if your ship is real, why didn't you notice that it was broken?"

"My enthusiasm blinded me. You tried to murder me!"

Woody was stunned. He thought his ship was real. It couldn't fly. But he _still_ thought it was real. The guy was determined to be delusional.


End file.
